“Thank you Hans for helping me realize that Kristoff is really the one for me!” Wait, I have seen Frozen. (Disney, 2013) 1000 times, I even asked my daughter who yelled vehemently that “Anna does not say that in the movie, don’t you remember she kills him?”
So why should maybe Disney reconsider adding such a line in this blockbuster film? Well for one thing we all know how impressionable young children are and especially young girls when it comes to finding “true love”.
Thanking an exboyfriend or girlfriend, even ex wife/husband who may have cheated, lied or even in some way abused you? I should get my head examined but before you commit me to a psych ward read on..
Often when we are “dumped” by the “love of our life or the one we thought would be the one” we are left literally frozen. Grief often drowns us as we cry, call our best friends and ask why? What is wrong with me? For some reason
To save you all a lot of time. Here is the best advice I can give you on how to “thank your ex and consequently increase your chances of finding true love”. Do this whether you are currently with the “love of your life, recently divorced or single (looking or not).
Take out a piece of paper and a pencil. (Do not worry and please for the love of g-d do not send this letter, email, tweet or post to Facebook). The goal of this exercise is certainly NOT to “stalk someone you do not (and after doing this no matter what the circumstance you will realize you will not want back!)
So here are 3 simple steps to applying gratitude towards your ex and finding true love (money back guarantee :)-though it may take time.
1) First, write a “love letter to your ex and thank him/her for all the great things (even if only one) he or she did for you. You may have many “exes” but to get the most of this activity write the letter to your most recent serious ex who you really thought was “the one”. If you don’t have a recent ex or someone who fits this description think of a best friend who you really trusted that might have hurt you.
Try to think of as many things about the person that were positive!!
You should probably choose the ex who hurt you the most and maybe even “broke your heart”
2) Next (and this is the only negative part of exercise) think of the top 3 things that your ex did not do (or qualities he/she lacked) which were the real “deal breakers”. I am not talking about physical appearance I am talking about interpersonal qualities. For example was your ex selfish, a poor listener, rigid? Then write the first 3 deal breaking.
3) Finally and yes it’s that simple write down the opposite of those dealbreak ing qualities (in aforementioned example that would be generous, attentive, flexible). Write on a small index card or plug in smartphone to help you remember the very qualities you should look for when finding “the real one”. Maybe externally the person is a “fixer upper” but remember its much easier to fix external flaws than internal ones. You can much easier help someone shed a few pounds than shed a selfish attitude!
If you find these qualities in a potential mate chances are you may have just found “the one” because they say you find love when you are not looking, but they never say anything about finding love when you are not observing. So keen observation is key!
I promise you it works!! Then you will truly be grateful to your ex because if not for him/her you never would have maybe found your true love who possesses the real qualities you need to have a happy and healthy relationship! An ancillary benefit is that you can finally “let it go” :)-
run4dreamsnyc 